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June 30, 2005

Women, games.

Women. Games. Hot topic, eh?

I (fondly) think Ernest is wrong that MMOs will make the difference - comparitively speaking, MMOs have a tinsy audience still, and they're PC based. Consoles kick PC's arse. The mainstream aren't playing MMOs.

46378010He's right that ladies lurve the night-elf though.



Phwoarr.




Anyway!

There will be a reversal of history, and it will happen really, really fast. They get it out there now. There will be a slew of good, different titles out that break the mould of shoot/fight/drive - on consoles, handhelds and mobiles - and it will take a mere 3 years.

The generation of kids now are 50/50 split, so la la la. What we need is marketeers with a vision and for those console developers to finish their current round of Big Bikes Small Helmets 12 and   Championship Ball Manager 6 and get on with something new.*





Meanwhile..

Who's the chick on the right?

_41251563_pms203

She looks familiar. Step forward, chick on the right, and tell me where you got that teeshirt ... :)

*I guarantee you it will involve customisation, personalisation, socialising, reality-tv, and even more puppies. If they're really, really clever it will also include lots of frights and creeping horror. w00t!

The thing about videogames

There's a particular story-game format out there that we're all I think familiar with - think Max Payne to Resident Evil to Lara Croft. Interactive narrative. Not branching narrative, but pure, linear story, with interactive bits stirred in with animated bits. Maybe a bit of sandbox these days if you're lucky, but usually it's start at point A, go through various traumas and challenges until you arrive at point Z, The End.

We also know, deep down, that most of these games -  at least in terms of story -  are complete tripe. Wooden, awful blather. Stilted, idiotic plot with flat characters and obvious mechanics.
And we love them!

Case in point: I'm playing Resident Evil 4 at the moment, a game I've looked forward to for a long, long time. I am a giant horror genre fan and this game is up there with the best of them, but Leon, our hero, is shocking. His hair is magnificent, floating gently in the breeze, the tips falling delicately across his eyes, but his dialogue and acting are pure, leaden, C-Movie.
Wince, wince, wince: getting chainsawed in the head is a relief after all that painful "dialogue".

Leon_03

(Nice, but dim.)

The inanimate parts of the craft - the set, the water effects, the candlelight flicker - are near perfect, and this is the Gamecube I'm on here, this is no next-generation machine yet. The environment is enthralling, but candlelight alone can't convey emotion or atmosphere on its own. The animated parts of this thing consist (so far, I'm nowhere near finished) of repeated lurching through bleached-out village buildings and roads, shooting villager-zombies and watching cut-scenes in which Leon lumbers through some hokey plot involving the President's daughter, an "insidious cult" and lots of gore. His  assistant is a crosseyed and prim Miss Bun-and-Glasses who implores him (me) to hurry! and save! the President's daughter! every time I wander toward an area I'm not supposed to get to yet.

Holy cow, it's terrible. And I can't put it down.

Now, at the same time, I'm watching series one of Alias. Flip, flip, flip on the scart switcher: Alias 1 to Resident Evil 4 to Alias 1 again, when I want a break from whichever. Alias is as formulaic as they come: cool gadgetry plus heroine running a lot in small dress and hawt wig plus extended will-they-won't-they love story plus 'spy stuff' equals riveting telly. And Alias made me cry last night. You know that bit where the CIA agent is killed in action, and there's the funeral, and the dead man's adorable little boy with big eyes, and the handsome handler bloke cuddles the little boy and there's that soaring music? Pass the frackin' hanky!

Back to the chainsaw action. I'd really love to admire Leon, or at least be some character that I can be impressed with or relate to in some way. It's already an intense experience, this being in control thing, exploring something, coming up against characters, face to face, any angle I choose - except, most of the time we're face to face with some lump marching out his lines and waving a wooden arm around for emphasis. I know people are often asking, 'when are games going to make us cry?', but really. When?

Luis02

Here's my point: it's easy to forget, but games are still fantastically primitive when we're talking interactive entertainment. Hamming amateurs. If this kind of story and acting were on the television, we'd be throwing tomatoes, up in arms in outrage. Yet in games, we fall about, goggle-eyed with delight.

This can only mean one thing. We're not even close to what makes great "interactive entertainment". Interactive entertainment is going to get better, and better, and better, and it's all unfolding in front of us right now. There's a semi-popular view that the magic is all about gameplay, and graphics aren't everything, but it's not all about gameplay, because it's not just a simple game anymore. It's about play, and story, and environment, and story, and immersion, and story, and yes graphics matter, they matter a lot:  you know that bit in Half Life 2 when the bloke on the train at the very beginning looks you in the EYE? Did you feel that? Creeped out? That's just the beginning of it.

Ashley_01

Next-gen is here soon, and given a few years of practice, those wily designers should have us some characters we can really get into the heads of. Some folk bemoan the idea of Hollywood mixing with the games industry, but get the guy who wrote Sopranos writing a game and we have another sea-change on our hands.

Roll on Resi 5.

GeekOnStun's gone a bit funny

A nip too much, perhaps. Ironing games, indeed. I {heart} you geekonstun, but mention washing-up games again and I'll pay you a visit. Anyway - they've found some awesome pants, that I'm boggling at: a vest and knickers Space Invaders combo set. Fabulous!
Space_invader_fine_washable
Except... look closer. Yes, that seems to be a flap. A boy flap! And in fact, the whole GIRL BRIEFS section of the site seems to sell boy's y-fronts. Every boy in my school aged 6 had these very y-fronts...

Briefs_spider_pro_5
... and now they're trying to fob them off on us?

FLAPS!

Please please please

...someone set this to music? These two brave souls got a LEGO Star Destroyer, and video'ed their putting it together. Not only is he wearing a Somebody Set Up Us The Bomb tee, but they have dinner half way through, amongst other things.

I swear they're eating the lego pieces at one point, as well.

Legosddinner Legosd01

Legosd02 Legosd03_1

Via toiprotocol, get the video here.

PostIt Mario vs PostIt Elvis

Mario wins! (Because.. er.. he was first).

Warroom

That's not a bad Elvis though. I like the shading achievement.

J1057_interior3rdfloor

Someone needs to do a scene from Quake now.

Uhoh. Please don't let it be me.

June 28, 2005

Rhinos!

Maz won't like this one. Keith over at Gamesblog has posted a note on Wild Earth, a new safari adventure game. No shooting! Not even poachers. Just photography and exploration...?

Is that a game?

Yolliphant

Putting things in boxes is what people do, and on a daily basis games get into trouble because people hear the word 'game' and make a range of assumptions. It's got guns. It's for kids. It's Tetris. It's Grand Theft Auto. It should be banned. It's the best thing since sliced bread.

Now it's got arty photography, savannah sunsets and rhinos, and what the hell do we call that? What's the box for this? This realism lark is going to open a whole series of new doors. I checked out the trailer: there is zero evidence of gameplay, but you can see every single blade of gently waving grass...

Way more interesting than a geography lesson, eh.

Yahoo closes most chat rooms

MSN did this a while back and there was a brief uproar then it faded away. Now Yahoo is following suit:

SAN FRANCISCO - Yahoo, the most-used Internet site, has shut down all its user-created Internet chat rooms amid concerns that adults were using the sites to try to have sex with minors.

Chatrooms and messageboards are the original "sociable software", supplanted now in the main by community sites (Neopets, etc), games and IM. Disney have moved into multiplayer online communities with Virtual Magic Kingdom, and I'm sure many will follow suit.

I find it curious that to date (and to my knowledge) there's not been any reported dodgy goings-on in multiplayer games. Why not? There's certainly a large enough user base, and Yahoo and co have had chat alongside play for years, like on Literati. Why no smut? Why no moderators, or panic buttons?

Something to scratch chin about.

6.46 am

Time for sausages and a bit of Resident Evil 4.

June 27, 2005

J Allard in head-to-toe XBox

.. clothes:

Vortal_pic_144799

The question is, do they do XBox underwear too?  Then he could be wearing XBoxers.

.

..

Could you have resisted that? No you couldn't.
(Thanks Glyn!)

Kick Ass Kung Fu

So proto-cool:

Kick Ass Kung-Fu is an immersive game installation that transforms computer gaming into a visual, physical performance like dance or sports. You can fight and defy gravity like kung-fu movie actors - only there's no wires or post-production needed, thanks to the real-time embodied interaction and virtual set technology.

It's a doctoral project by Perttu Hämäläinen. With some decent game engines in there, imagine this in an arcade for a second.. (or, with EyeToy, in your sitting room):

Kickasskungfu01

Kickasskungfu02

Kickasskungfu03

There's flying, too! Sod realism, we want flying! It's very Mortal Kombat, except you really get to do the kicking. Very, very fantastico.

(Thanks masayume!)